Welcome to the era of guerrilla technology regulation

President Donald Trump is sworn into office today, and we’re about to find out what happens when the government is actually as corrupt as most rotten conspiracy theorists imagine.

“Trump’s inauguration, flush with cash, is running out of perks for major donors“,” New York Times Reported, somewhat inaccurately. Sure, Trump’s VIP team was sold out, but that’s not what donors were buying. This is pure and obvious corruption, the kind that would have been shameful, when we were a people who could still feel these feelings.

All of our technology overlords have problems, and they want to buy the solutions. I think it was easier than making products that people actually liked.

“First friend“Elon Musk spent At least a quarter of a billion dollars Election of Donald Trump. Corporations and wealthy donors They sent half a billion more Since his election. Amazon, Google, Uber, Microsoft, and Meta They donated $1 million each Before Trump’s inauguration, as did Apple’s Tim Cook and OpenAI’s Sam Altman. (Inauguration of Joe Biden Barely received That kind of generosity.) “The first semester, everyone was fighting me,” Trump said in December. “This semester, everyone wants to be my friend.”

Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg are the three richest men on Earth He reportedly attended the inauguration; They were scheduled to sit with elected officials and Cabinet nominees, Before moving the party indoors. (The cook too It is said that he attended.) Musk It will have office space in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building Next to the White House, according to New York Times.

So what do these guys buy?

Real market opportunities are rarer than they used to be. Technology executives and investors have become openly dissatisfied with their products Societal repercussions and An unreasonable absence of adulation from citizens. Zuckerberg in particular seemed bored with Facebook, his main source of money, and was looking for a new game. spent At least $46 billion plus The cost of rebranding the company on the Metaverse, only to discover that his big new thing has no legs. His latest new thing is augmented reality glasses, which depend heavily on whatever AI policy (and, most likely, definitions) Trump dictates.

Almost every major tech company has at least one lawsuit pending. apple He has an antitrust lawsuit pending. Google I lost only one. There’s also an FTC lawsuit that could Remove Instagram and WhatsApp from Meta. Trump cares little about the actual purpose of antitrust enforcement: getting companies to compete for customers with good products. All the pending lawsuits are just leverage for Trump to punish anyone who doesn’t fall in line. Silicon Valley is more uninterested in consumers than ever before. “Get out of jail free” is a very popular card in the game Monopoly.

Perhaps no one has spent more than the cryptocurrency industry to buy a break from public scrutiny. “The crypto guys are just screwing it up.” The anonymous Trump adviser said Axios. “A million dollars used to be a big number. Now we’re looking at some people donating $10 million or $20 million. They want a friendly SEC. Venture capitalist and PayPal Mafioso David Sacks has already been called a ‘currency czar’ “Cryptocurrency.” An executive order is pending to designate cryptocurrencies a “national necessity or priority—strategic formulation intended to direct government agencies to work with the industry.” According to Bloomberg. We may be about to witness it ourselves First Presidential Pump and Dump Meme Coin.

Cryptocurrencies are of little use next to crime and gambling, and less regulation means more chances of people getting scammed by the next FTX. (Speaking of gambling, Robinhood donated $2 million To Trump’s inaugural fund.) Furthermore, the executive order means increasing the likelihood of cryptocurrencies being introduced into new government projects — whether they are beneficial or not. The seizure of cryptocurrencies could extend to the facilitation of the various criminal industries that rely on them.

Then there are taxes, of course. Billionaires don’t want to be paid, and Trump does It is possible to do so. Scott Besant, Nominated for the position of Secretary of the TreasuryHe said the “most important economic issue today” is making sure tax cuts for the wealthy continue. Besant is Accused of evading taxes himself.

But this is all small potatoes. The real money is in the army. Venture capitalist Marc Andreessen — also a Meta board member and lead investor in X — has recruited Trump administration staff and even influenced hiring at the Defense Department and the intelligence agency. The Washington Post Reports. As usual, he is Give the game away by bragging about it on a podcast.

Investors were generally in Silicon Valley Optimistic about defense technology Like making a baby poster, Anduril and Palantir. (a16z is a big backer of Anduril, both companies founded and owned by some of the Valley’s early MAGA believers.) They want to shift Pentagon spending away from old-school contractors like Lockheed Martin, which seems so terrified that when an account points out “Big Tech Alert” X indicated that he unfollowed Musk, Lockheed DM’d account To say it was “unintentional.”

Musk’s has SpaceX Number of contracts with US Army and Intelligence agenciesincluding The so-called Starshield satellites. He used his influence to intervene in the war between Russia and Ukraine, and he did It was even reported that phone calls were received From Vladimir Putin. The military’s interest in artificial intelligence has also inspired a new race in everything from building data centers to providing cloud computing. Musk’s xAI, which also runs alongside OpenAI, Meta, and Google, could legitimize itself through Defense Department contracts.

Andreessen has already expressed his displeasure With Joe Biden Executive Order on Amnesty Internationalwhich will likely be cancelled.

The push toward artificial intelligence is likely to interest Microsoft, Google, Meta, and Amazon, as well as a host of startups. Early 2017Greg Brockman, co-founder of OpenAI, wrote to Elon Musk that the company should aim for a “government project (when:??).” (I’ve heard rumors that OpenAI requested government funding around that time; Microsoft has also said so.)It is said to have been set up by DALL-E To the Army in 2023.) Microsoft has a lot to lose in these negotiations – Senators Ron Wyden and Eric Schmitt have expressed concerns That the Department of Defense relies heavily on it as a vendor. CEO Satya Nadella He’s already made a pilgrimage to Mar-A-Lago To grovel before Trump and Musk.

Mass privatization could make things more profitable for the tech industry. Data/research material It is an obvious fortune, however Musk’s criticism of the F-35 program It suggests much broader targeting. For example, greater military investment in drones would likely benefit Anduril. Musk already makes rockets, which means SpaceX doesn’t need a big leap into rocket manufacturing. Should the Trump administration implement this? And its threats of mass deportationThere will undoubtedly be demand for more databases, mass tracking, and detention centers.

But this is no friendly clown car that all these guys crammed themselves into. Their interests simply do not align. Zuckerberg stands to benefit the most from banning TikTok and he did just that He practically begged Trump to punish his Apple. Maybe Trump has reconsider On TikTok ban, probably because of that A major conservative donor It owns a 15 percent stake. Apple relies on Chinese manufacturing and needs exemptions from the law Tariffs promised by the Trump administration. Andreessen asked To break up Googlewhich now resumes its monopoly rule. Everyone wants to steal contracts from Microsoft. Jeff Bezos and Musk compete over space communications.

If we know anything from Trump’s first term, it’s that he loves people running for him. Sure, it means chaos, but it also means funny company. For example, everyone hates the EU regulatory system. It’s easy to imagine Zuckerberg, Musk, and Cook teaming up to convince Trump to repeal the EU Digital Services Act, and then immediately turning on each other. Being in Trump’s favor is a zero-sum game, and the prize is that the clown car will eventually go down the drain.

Keeping Trump happy may be expensive, but it is cheaper than legal battles. Selective legal enforcement puts every company under the sword of Damocles – make the wrong move and You could be cut into pieces By followers in Congress or Federal Communications Commission. Just look at TikTok appeals to the sycophant Dear Leader. The Supreme Court upheld the TikTok ban, but if Trump only punishes people he doesn’t like, Nothing happens to TikTok. (It is crucial that the law is still on the books to be kept Other Chinese competitors In line.) Did I mention TikTok CEO Shou Chew received a front-row invitation to Trump’s inauguration Who is the man himself?

And I suppose I should explain why this makes the US a worse place to live, given the “clever” sarcasm I’ve seen about how screwed up things are already here. Tech companies, working to increase their profits, have made their experiences worse, a phenomenon so widespread and well-recognized that there is now Slang for that. Whether the scandals are fraud, child predation, worker exploitation, violations of user privacy — pick your poison — Trump has offered technology a way to save itself from the consequences. This makes life measurably worse for everyone who is not a billionaire.

There are those who will say that this is a good thing, and that corruption occurs in the open and not in the shadows. But open, open corruption allows more corruption to fester in secret. Let us consider here all powerful governments; In addition to their progress in bribery, what did they innovate? Silicon Valley’s leaders portray themselves as giants of industry, but what they are really building is a golden age of graft.