For $1 million, you could pay Bryan Johnson (or BryanAI?) to teach you how to live longer

It’s mid-February, and the air is dry. There are fine lines appearing on my forehead, perhaps because I don’t moisturize them enough, but perhaps as a harbinger of something greater: Every day I get closer to my death. Soon, I will be thirty years old. I will never be younger than I am now.

Brian Johnson, the fintech founder turned long-time educator, has an offer that caught my attention. For the low price of $1 million a year, I could pay him to show me the rules of the “exact protocol” he has followed for the past five years. The program is called “Immortals.”

Yes, the guy who received it Botox injections In his reproductive organs he will teach me how to reverse the aging process. Why can’t I believe that Beran Johnson has revealed the secrets to living longer than anyone else? No, he has not yet proven that he can outlive all other humans. He was born in 1977, the year many current humans were born.

But why should I doubt the judgment of the man who fortified his constitution with it? Blood from his teenage son? When did the tech elite mislead us? Should I also wonder when Elon Musk said that? Saving for retirement doesn’t matter Because artificial general intelligence will create such great economic abundance that no one will ever know poverty again?

According to Johnson’s post on X, this exclusive service — only three spots available! – It will include a “dedicated concierge team, BryanAI 24/7, extensive testing, millions of biological data points, continuous tracking, best-in-class skin and hair protocols, and access to the best treatments on the market.”

I can talk to the AI ​​version of the man Who broadcasts himself live while breaking the fast For “science?” Sign me up!

Except I can’t. Because I don’t have a million dollars. People like me will have to settle for buying expensive Johnson’s Olive Oil in our quest for immortality (it Pepper and smooth!)

My budding forehead wrinkles are exacerbated by the knowledge that Johnson will likely have an easy time filling those three million-dollar spots. Among the wealthy, longevity has become an increasingly hot target.

It was co-founded by John Herring, who has provided Musk with billions of dollars in support biographerwhich describes itself as a preventive health and diagnostic clinic. The most premium membership costs $15,000 per year (aside from Johnson’s offer, it seems like a good deal…almost). similar start, Fountain liferaised $108 million to fund the “Ultimate Longevity Program,” which charges an annual fee of $21,500. Johnson’s program is certainly much more expensive, but remember there are only three places! And if you’re still not ready to pay seven figures, well, you can reach the mysterious “subsidized tier” for $60,000.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live a longer, healthier life, but longevity influencers like Johnson take this to an unattainable extreme that is (as common sense would say) completely unnecessary for the average person.

In his defence, Johnson is not trying to convince us all to accept One hundred pills daily They rely heavily on boiled vegetables. But he also does not deny us the opportunity to make him richer in exchange for his “secrets”.