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Google seems to think I’m richer than I am. At least, that’s the impression I got after watching this year’s Android showcase. The company showed a variety of New Android 17 features, It all seems to be aimed squarely at people who earn the same salary as its CEO.
It left me thinking, what about the rest of us?
The Android show is Google’s pre-recorded 30-minute show before it’s shown Big I/O keywordwhich previews upcoming Android features. This time, the big news was deeper integration with Gemini Tools for Artificial Intelligencebetter Android Auto The interface and your own widget builder, which does things like track your upcoming flights.
The common theme of all of these things is money. A lot of money. Money you already have and money you want to spend.
Paris Hilton was the star of the show and she seemed like the “typical everyday” Android user?
A demo of Android Auto showed how it fits into BMW’s larger screens and how YouTube will play at 60 frames per second on the screen compatible with your infotainment system. We even get a dramatic cameo from Paris Hilton in her luxury Genesis, as she says how the car can turn into its own movie theater.
I am currently driving a Toyota Auris 2007 With 110,000 miles on the clock, a broken CD player, no USB inputs and covered in so much bird droppings that I sometimes forget the original color. I make it “smart” by placing my iPhone in a holder that clips onto the heating vents. My version of Dolby Atmos in-car audio is a portable Bluetooth speaker that I recharge and place on the passenger seat because there’s no way to connect my phone to the car.
My car is covered in so much crap, I think the seagull that flew over it ate some really bad oysters moments ago. My car does not have Android Auto.
Later in the auto demo, Gemini was shown being used to demonstrate whether or not a new 65-inch TV could fit on the back of the set Volvo EX60. I have to be fair to Google here: I recently purchased a 65-inch TV. But since I didn’t have a $65,000 (or more) Volvo to pick up, I just had to call a friend who owned a pickup truck.
Then there were multiple examples of usage Gemini’s new agent AI tools To book “floor seat” concert tickets, which alone can cost hundreds of dollars, depending on the artist — or even four figures if you go to A tour of the Taylor Swift eras.
Not at concerts? Google has you covered with some “related” travel options: Coffee and Chocolate Tours in Costa Rica. And no, not just for you, but for a group of six, so you can go with five of your richest friends. And if that doesn’t sound appealing, another Google idea is an old-fashioned shopping trip to Tokyo.
Go ahead, buy it, you can afford it.
In fact, all of the examples provided by Google involved sharing your money in some way, whether that was booking flights and restaurants, or buying clothes and concerts. Not surprising, I guess. Google is basically a search engine that directs you towards things you can spend money on. This is what the research department has turned to over the past two years.
But today’s Android showcase feels like a bigger tribute to rampant capitalism than usual. I can’t help but feel like she’s lost track of her audience.
Financial constraints are tightening around the world, and more of us are struggling to afford even basic life essentials, let alone shopping trips to Tokyo or coffee tours in Costa Rica. We don’t all drive fancy Genesis cars thanks to our Hilton fortunes, nor do we all have $100,000+ worth of Bitcoin in our crypto wallets, as Google’s Alexander Kocher apparently did during his tenure. View Google Book. Good for him.
If you look closely, you’ll see that the Bitcoin wallet is worth about $100,000. But we all have that, right?
It wasn’t just the money angle that bothered me. During one demo, Jiminy was asked to reserve “front row seats” for a class. Front row?! How about “find me a seat in the dark back corner so no one can see my dark purple, sweaty face as I pathetically try to claw my way out of an early grave”?
What bothers me is that Google assumes I’m decent. Maybe I’m sexy. Or at least fit and sexy enough that I want to be at the front of the class, shaking my tight Lycra-clad ass for everyone to get inspired by. It is a type of fitness that requires much more free time per day than the average working person does.
It’s a lifestyle that aligns with Google’s view of the average Android user: We all meet our friends for a fancy brunch, and on the way, we plan to meet another friend for a fancy dinner using Android Auto in our luxury car. It’s not clear, in Google’s ideal world, when you’re supposed to find time to go to work or pick up the kids.
Seriously, raise your hand if you really want to have a front row bike in a class?
What is clear is that Google assumes great wealth from its audience. I get it: Google is trying to be ambitious. Except it’s not, not really.
The point of these demos is how easy it is to make things you already assume you’re doing. It doesn’t mean, “Hey, if you use Android, maybe you can go shopping in Tokyo.” He says: “You definitely Google’s position is completely wrong, and it risks alienating 99% of people who can’t afford the lifestyle it advertises.
Google’s new features speak directly to the 1% who find Paris Hilton’s sparkling car asking for a convenient life option rather than what it is: a complete misunderstanding of how real people live their lives.